Why do love and death have such a close relationship?

Today’s Lenten scriptures describe one of the most intimate and powerful moments in the life of Jesus (Jn 11:1-45).  As much as we hear how Jesus heals all those who approach him with faith, today’s story involves friends of Jesus, people he knew and loved very much.  There is a level of intimate investment here that truly underlines the humanity of Jesus as much as his mission in following His Father’s divine will:  This personal relationship that Jesus has with the characters in the story is the frame within which the all too human experience of death and the loss of someone loved deeply is told:

The sisters of Lazarus sent word to Jesus, saying,
“Master, the one you love is ill.”
When Jesus heard this he said,
“This illness is not to end in death,
but is for the glory of God,
that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.
So when he heard that he was ill,
he remained for two days in the place where he was.

It was no secret that Mary, Martha and Lazarus were dear friends of Jesus.  Naturally, it perplexed his disciples that Jesus did not immediately go to Lazarus, when he heard that he was so ill.  He paused…He stayed two days more where he was before then going to see his friends.  He seemingly knew that it was more important that he wait as much as he may have wanted to go immediately to his friends.  The inevitability of death had to occur in the story.

So, when Jesus finally arrives in Bethany, Martha greets him with a statement that can be seen as statement of faith, but also perhaps even bitterly questioning why Jesus had not come sooner:

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

Jesus must have seen in her eyes the look of bewilderment and stunned grief over having lost her brother, and only now the dear friend whom she felt could have prevented the death and healed Lazarus finally shows up.  Martha is struggling with the mystery of death and love – how death can seem to suddenly take away one whom you love so much seemingly without any mercy .  Death in its silence stuns all of us, who stand by the graveside wondering what does this all mean?  Why must we go through pain and suffering and loss, and indeed the most intimate and heart-wrenching experience of losing a loved one?  The mystery of death may stun us but it cannot hold back the Love.  In fact, in some strange way the Love erupts in the midst of death and shows itself in powerful albeit very painful ways.  Grief can be a way of Love’s weeping over Itself.  Can our God weep for us and if so, why?

We hear many times through John’s account of Lazarus death how Jesus became overwhelmed in this tragic scene.  Jesus becomes perturbed and openly weeps. Why is Jesus weeping?  Is it because of the loss of his friend Lazarus?  Is he crying because he sees the inconsolable grief around him experienced by Lazarus’ sisters Martha and Mary?  Is he overwhelmed at how death can seem to take over the situation and promote despair ?  We don’t know the answers to these questions.  But we do know that Jesus wept.

In somewhat of an answer to Martha’s charge that had he been there Jesus could have prevented the death, He first states that “Lazarus will rise,” and then describes how His Presence is Life!:

“I am the resurrection and the life;
whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live,
and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.”

What is it actually that we must believe in order to experience resurrection?  It is not a what, but a Who.  Jesus Himself, Love Itself, incarnated in our world, the most precious gift of Loving God, a child who will teach us how to live and love in ways we never knew possible.  A God who loves us so deeply that He gives of His very Life.  This is the Further Step that Love takes that crosses over death by going through it.  In some strange and mysterious way, Love becomes Itself so to speak by moving through death.  Death seems to cut things off, but the searing pain of grief and loss actually can allow Love to be seen and experienced in a way that grants New Life, even when we cannot see it all at once.  The graves of those areas in our lives where we cannot see God, can actually be the way we must go in order to find New Life in Love.

As Jesus tearfully approached the cave where Lazarus had been laid, He commands that they “take away the stone” blocking the cave entrance.  The crowd is horrified and worried about the stench that would come forth from this dark death inside.  Yet, they follow Jesus’ instructions and remove the stone, and Jesus addresses his friend in his death:

“Lazarus, come out!”
The dead man came out,
tied hand and foot with burial bands,
and his face was wrapped in a cloth.
So Jesus said to them,
“Untie him and let him go.”

Jesus presence is Life, but the curious and very important aspect of How the real Presence of Christ is manifested in this story in not solely centered upon Jesus.  It is no minor element that Jesus asks the crowd to both remove the stone of the cave and then to untie Lazarus and let him go.  Is this not the Community of the Christ that we celebrate and strive to live within every day?  We are Christ for each other when we can help each other “remove stones” that lie in the pathway of Love in our lives.  We participate in the works of Christ when we unbind each other and let each other experience freedom.  We are all called out of death and simply asked to journey together.

There are no words that seem appropriate at times when we or someone we know experience the loss of a loved one.  Love touches us so deeply in the mysterious relationship of loss and death that we cannot speak sometimes.  And when we can, we may only be able to say like Martha, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  And that’s ok!  But, also like Martha and Mary, and the crowd, we can perhaps see our connection with the mystery of death and life – and ultimately Love.  We can act, we can listen, we can walk with each other.  Together we can begin to find deeper meanings in Life and Love that grow out of darkness, grief and loss and yes find a newness that perhaps we could never have imagined.  This is the Life of Resurrection that crosses through the sometimes very dark door of death in order to shine even more brightly!

As Ezekiel tells us (Ez 37:12-14) in today’s first reading, we can help each other to manifest the Presence of Christ in always new and unexpected ways, if we but allow the Spirit to open us up…

‘O my people, I will open your graves
and have you rise from them…
I will put my spirit in you that you may live’

(Written April 2, 2017)