Many of the paths that we take in life are repeats.  That is to say, for example, I travel the same route to work every morning and evening.  What is curious about these repeat paths that we take in our lives is that many times the rote-ness or familiarity of the pattern or route numbs us to the possibility for noticing something new about the path or route.  It could even be something that has always been there along the path or road, only we have never noticed it before.  Perhaps it’s a particular house on a street that we travel down all the time but to which never have paid attention.  It may be the case that the house gets painted or goes up for sale.  In any case, there is something that suddenly wakes us up to notice this house that we have never noticed before as we travel down this neighborhood street on a daily basis.  Suddenly something new has entered into our very familiar and everyday path through life.

There is also the experience that we have when something that we see at least peripherally on a frequent basis is suddenly gone.  It’s been removed.  It could be that we don’t realize that is gone, but we have some sense that something is different about this place or space where something has disappeared.  It may suddenly dawn upon us what it is that is different or what it is that is gone.  I had this experience after Church one day recently.  While walking back to my vehicle, I noticed what appeared to be a construction site, this empty field with nothing on it.  The whole area seemed strange to me and I could not immediately put my finger on what it was that was different.  As I gazed about at the landscape, I noticed some other things that seemed familiar and then some things that did not at all.  The whole relationship of these physical objects and spaces seemed to be unfamiliar, even though I had been here before.  Then it dawned on me –  the former church building had been completely taken down and removed since the last time I had been there.  The strangeness now at least had some connection or familiarity to me.

This same process operates in our mental and spiritual lives as well.  We get used to ways of thinking and seeing our world that just don’t get challenged.  We call these habits.  And as with some habits they can easily become addictions.  Our ego-consciousness does not like to be interrupted in its mental patterns and will unconsciously and consciously avoid anything that may indeed challenge it’s “point of view.”  We find ourselves sometimes defending these patterns of thinking and seeing from being challenged, sometimes quite aggressively.  Many times we tend to see this in other people more clearly without noticing that we are doing it ourselves – holding onto well-rehearsed and familiar patterns of being, living, thinking and seeing without disruptions.  Many times it takes severe and or traumatic experiences in our lives to allow us to even begin to question the old rigid framework within which we live our lives.  It often takes the deep experiences of love and loss to effectively challenge our everydayness so that we can see that perhaps our methods of maintenance are not enough and perhaps even detrimental.

Matthew’s Gospel today (Mt 7:6, 12-14) may be saying something about this in terms of what it could mean to be a disciple of Christ.

“Jesus said to his disciples:
“Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine,
lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.

“Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the Law and the Prophets.

“Enter through the narrow gate;
for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction,
and those who enter through it are many.
How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life.
And those who find it are few.”

The first directive seems a bit harsh with the reference to “dogs” and “swine.”  I wonder though if what Jesus is cautioning his disciples about has more to do with the level of awareness that provides the backdrop for anyone to truly “receive” or even understand the value in something.  Sometimes we may feel we have “pearls” to give to others, whether it be our gifts or talents, or maybe even a “pearl” of wisdom.  This is not necessarily a pure exercise of the ego.  This can be very well-intentioned and actually very important in the realization that we all do have “pearls” of personality and yes wisdom to share with each other.  Many times though, we are not at a place in our lives that we can receive what is being given.  When this happens there does seem to be a squandering or trampling that can occur.  And from the standpoint of the one “giving,” it can seem like you are being “torn to pieces,” if the “pearls” are not received, or even worse, rejected and ridiculed.

The converse of this is equally of value.  In other words, we must be available and open to receiving the “pearls” that others have to share with us.  All of this takes awareness and consciousness which can break out of those fixed patterns that unfortunately disallow the opportunity to see or perceive something in a new and different way.  In other words, we have to be “ready” and receptive to the newness at some level it would seem.  Otherwise, these experiences can seem explosive, crashing and even violent.  At the same time, who is to say when we are “ready” for newness.  The gift can come suddenly, or it can take years to be received.

Perhaps, Jesus is simply saying to engage with each other in a spirit of patience and compassion, without overdone expectations of how someone should receive what it is that we are sharing.  This is all easier said than done, but discernment is so important because it can be the case that refraining from giving your “pearls” at a particular time and in a particular situation is precisely what would be the most beneficial for everyone.  It can be a very hard call.  Sometimes timing is everything.

So then, how do we become grounded in an awareness that would allow us to discern this?  Jesus’ second instruction today may provide us with something of an answer to this.  “Do to others what you would have them do to you.”  The complement to this could be “walk a mile in my shoes.”  When we can allow the possibility of another way of thinking and seeing, then we can begin to approach each other on a calm playing field where superiority does not have to take a stand.  Treating others as we would like to be treated is offering compassion that comes from your true “self,” and not from the ego-self.  This is quite simply offering the patient love of acceptance and encouragement and not without some accompanying challenge.  This is not a “watering down” of the integrity of real compassionate love, but actually granting the empowerment that transforms everyone in the process itself.  This is a way of sharing the “pearls” that we have without fully understanding or even liking the what is being offered in the transaction or relationship. Sometimes the deepest sharing happens in complete hiddenness.  The power of love to transform does not require an immediate sign or even overt and clear response– how many times did Jesus say this?

Finally, Jesus tells us quite plainly that the “gate is narrow,” which leads to life, whereas that gate that leads to destruction is wide.  Paradoxically, we could hear Jesus saying that what we consider “wide” is exactly those comfortable paths of familiarity that tend to self-affirm perhaps unhealthy ways of living, seeing and engaging in life.  Conversely, it is “the narrow” gate, in the sense of being the gate that is not easily seen, that is the one that can bring life.  The wideness of familiarity hides the “narrow” or unseen gate that is the way of real life – the way of transformation.  In the end, it’s the degree to which we can begin to see things that we have never noticed before, or things that are seemingly completely new and different, that we can find the “narrow gate,” which as the great spiritual teacher, Thomas Merton, tells us is precisely everywhere!   When we can find the narrow gate and enter it, it expands us outward in a transformed wideness that allows, eventually embracing, everything.

When we can patiently wait with each other, walk with each other, treat each other as we would want to be treated, the “narrowness” of our sight that can only see a wideness without diversity is transformed into a “narrowness” of sight that welcomes difference into the wideness. The “narrowness” is then that focal point, or that pearl of “holiness” that we all have within ourselves – that is the gift of God in everyone and everywhere, which only exists in love to love and so to share.   This is truly Merton’s vision of compassionate companionship in Christ as the gateway to heaven that so yearns to be found by everyone in everyone everywhere.  Here, we can recognize, affirm and welcome the holy “pearls” that we are to each other!

Peace,

Thomas