As many of us experience as we get older, our memories fade and we often feel that we have lost some of the “knowledge” that we once had. When this happens, we can become a bit desperate and seek to hold on tightly to that which we still feel we ‘know.’ Alzheimer’s provides a drastic and often sad example of what can happen when our minds fail. On the other hand, as I get older I seem to gain an ever-increasing sense of the limits of what I think I know. This is not a matter of losing knowledge, as much as it is a dramatic and often unsettling realization that even those things that I thought I knew simply don’t ring true anymore. It is a paradoxical feeling of both uneasiness and freedom at the same time. To have an ever increasing space where ‘objects’ of knowledge in the form of mindsets, opinions and certainties change or simply slip away, has an odd yet refreshing feel to it. It can feel like ‘waking’ up from a deep sleep and seeing all things in a whole new context. This way of ‘seeing’ that comes not so much from the mind as perhaps from the heart and provides an engagement in life flowing from a sense of longing (desiring) and loving, seeking and receiving. Perhaps this is a type of ‘wisdom’ having more to do with the heart than the mind, loving more than thinking.
It is amazing to me how many times Jesus in the gospels speaks about staying awake and not falling asleep. We hear him chastise his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane prior to his arrest and crucifixion and He speaks many times through parables about the necessity for staying alert and vigilant at all times, In today’s Gospel from Matthew (MT 25: 1-13) he speaks of the “kingdom of heaven” as likened to ten virgins who are awaiting the bridegroom’s arrival. They all have lamps, but only half of them have oil to keep the lamps burning constantly during the waiting period. Upon the bridegroom’s arrival, those without oil ask from those with oil that they share their oil. Strangely perhaps, those with oil do not share this with those who are without oil. This is not so much a sign of the stinginess of those with oil as much as a mark of being prepared to receive the “bridegroom” and really “see” him when he arrives.
Jesus describes the virgins with the lamp oil as ‘wise.’ If this storehouse of oil constitutes wisdom, could it be that the oil itself is the longing and attentive seeking that these ‘wise virgins’ have for the ‘bridegroom?’ Maybe the ten virgins, 5 wise and 5 foolish, represent each one of us. Perhaps the point of the story is not to separate those of us who are prepared with oil and those of us that are not, but more to depict how we are all both wise and foolish in any given moment of any given day of our lives. When we are awake, we have bright lamps fully supplied with oil and in this collectedness, there is a sense of readiness and longing anticipation for the One who loves us and in turn empowers us to love. When we remain asleep, our lamps dim because we have not collected the oil of anticipation and alertness needed for the journey in love.
In the tradition, we many times look at this ‘kingdom of heaven,’ as Jesus describes it in the parable of the ten virgins, as the call to be ready for when Jesus returns. We may look at the parable as a description of the readiness and preparation that we should be doing in our lives as we prepare to meet Jesus in our death. Perhaps though, the ‘kingdom of heaven’ is not only a place that we are planning to inhabit in the future at the end of our lives when we are with God, but is actually a pathway in and through this life we are living wherein we can begin to recognize and receive the ‘bridegroom’ coming to us in the present, i.e., right here and now in the everydayness of our lives.
The first reading from Wisdom (WIS 6: 12-16) gives us a beautiful picture of the ‘bridegroom’s’ deep and burning love for us, just waiting for us to ‘wake up’ and receive the love He has to give. Here though, the genders are switched – Wisdom is the lover and seeker of all those who will see and receive Her…
“Resplendent and unfading is wisdom,
and she is readily perceived by those who love her,
and found by those who seek her.
She hastens to make herself known in anticipation of their desire;
Whoever watches for her at dawn shall not be disappointed,
for he shall find her sitting by his gate.
For taking thought of wisdom is the perfection of prudence,
and whoever for her sake keeps vigil
shall quickly be free from care;
because she makes her own rounds, seeking those worthy of her,
and graciously appears to them in the ways,
and meets them with all solicitude.”
Many have said that we often go through life ‘asleep.’ This sleepiness can come in the many ways we are railroaded by hard-set opinions that we hold as unquestioned truths. We see the devastating effects of this sometimes violent ‘sleep’ as it presents itself in the forms of racism, bigotry, hatred, and war, to name only a few. This is a dangerous ‘sleep’ that lulls us into habituated indifference and prevents our hearts from recognizing the Wisdom that can only be seen, as the Scriptures tells us “by those who love her.” This is not a ‘seeing’ that proceeds solely from the mind and it’s addictive mode of thinking, but a way of ‘seeing’ that is driven by the heart’s love, desire and patient seeking of the One who Loves us.
Wisdom is the great She who loves from Itself – as Love. And when we ‘train’ ourselves to perceive Her in all the wonderful ways that she is trying to reveal herself to us, then we “shall quickly be free from care.” This freedom is from the unnecessary care that we give to everything other than Love and instead allows us to discover a deeper care fueled by compassion and solidarity. God is seeking us out always in our world in and as each other, yet we so often have not collected that ‘oil’ that can keeps the lamp burning in our hearts so that we can see clearly all the ways that Love as Wisdom is revealing Herself.
This oil of wisdom strengthens and emboldens us to live in the present moment where God is meeting and seeking us and to recognize this in everyone and everything, no matter the situation. As the Episcopal priest and teacher, Cynthia Bourgeault, puts it, “all such spiritual sleepwalking bypasses…that moment where the heart has to find its way not through external conditioning but through a raw immediacy of presence.”[i] This ‘oil’ fuels our light and anoints our soul so that we can shed the fossilized opinions and indifferent certitudes and begin to recognize Christ, the ‘bridegroom’ and Wisdom the Sacred Lover present in every sacred moment of our lives, drawing us into the Love that our God is!
When we commit ourselves to practices in life to lovingly to see and receive this Wisdom, this is a way of collecting and receiving the oil that we need to sustain the light in our lamps. There are so many ways that we can cultivate this ‘wakefulness’ wherein we can receive and collect the Holy Oil of patience and presence. Prayer and practice, engagement and silence, authentic interaction with those we consider different than us, and honest listening to both what we ourselves are saying and what we hear others say, are all examples of how we can receive and fill the storehouse of oil to light our ways in our journey in and toward the ‘kingdom of heaven.’ It is hard work requiring honest challenging, and it takes a life-time, but Wisdom, who “makes her own rounds,” is ceaselessly seeking to reveal herself in many times unexpected daily life moments.
The hope and desire to ‘wake up’ and attempt to remain awake is itself the gift from a God who longs for us and runs before and after us and all around us – and IN us – just waiting to be recognized, embraced and shared in and as the ‘kingdom of heaven.’ This is Wisdom’s oil of gladness that “graciously appears to them in the ways, and meets them with all solicitude,” fueling the journey, lighting the way, and allowing the movement of Wisdom in all our moments.
Peace,
Thomas
[i] Cynthia Bourgeault, The Wisdom Jesus (Boston, MA: Shambahala Publications, 2008), p. 7.