What kind of things do we notice when we are waiting for something or anticipating something to happen? The things we notice usually depend heavily on what we are anticipating. Maybe in the case of pregnancy, a mother notices everything about her body, how it changes and feels as it makes accommodations for the new life within. When we garden, we notice the growth of our plants and flowers, paying particular attention perhaps to budding and the signs of disease and insects. Many times we are instructed by others on what to notice in our experiences or as we anticipate something happening. I have found that sometimes I take notice of irrelevant things in my life experiences or specifically while anticipating something, so much so, that I miss the signs that were staring me right in the face. What we notice is determined many times by our expectations, or by what the “return” will be.
Earlier this month we heard Luke’s account of the vigilant – or not so much so vigilant- servant awaiting the return of the master. In today’s scripture we have Matthew’s account of the same (MT 24: 42-51). Matthew has Jesus focusing on the idea of staying awake with regards to anticipating the master’s return.
Jesus said to his disciples: “Stay awake! For you do not know on which day your Lord will come.
There seems to be an implication here that the disciples are awake already, but it’s a matter of “staying” that way, i.e., staying awake that Jesus is emphasizing. As I mentioned in my reflection on Luke’s account a couple of weeks back, this effort to maintain a state of readiness or, as Matthew refers to, wakefulness requires practice. Wakefulness is not a state in which we naturally find ourselves. This may sound a bit odd, but perhaps we need to look at what could be meant by “wakefulness.”
Many of the saints and mystics in all of the great world religions speak about “waking up,” “paying attention,” or “being mindful.” Although there are nuances regarding these phrases, there is generally speaking a distinction here about to not only WHAT we are paying attention or being mindful, but actually a HOW we pay attention, how we are mindful and stay awake. What and how do we take notice? Our culture bombards us with layers and layers of distractions which demand our attention on a daily even moment-by-moment basis. It can require great consciousness, to realize that this is happening continually, much less to creatively respond to this realization.
The question of “how” to seek God in our everyday life can take on a different meaning, when we begin to learn how to discover God in our every day life. For example, the Jesuit practice of the daily examen, wherein we take stock of our day and attempt to name and give thanks for the moments when we were aware of God present in our lives and then also become mindful of those times and perhaps actions we performed wherein we did not acknowledge God. I don’t think this is meant to be a cataloging of our day as much as it is a way of noticing or “growing” our consciousness in the unfathomable Truth that God is present in all time everywhere, and that means in our personal lives, across the entire spectrum of dramatic and mundane experiences that we encounter every moment of our lives.
Reading deeper into Matthew’s Gospel about “staying awake,” could we possibly envision that it’s not so much that we are waiting on the master to return, but that God is waiting for us to realize that God is already here and we just don’t see it. It’s not that we end the day saying, “well, God didn’t show up today…again.” It’s more like…”well…looks like I didn’t show up today,” or “I didn’ t realize that this moment was a God moment.” I was too busy getting irritated, rushing around, checking off my list, complaining, or just doing “my thing” to notice God. This is another way of looking at prayer. As important as it is to set aside time for prayer on a regular basis, the real benefit of this “practice” of prayer is that it can become a way of life such that it spills over into everything we do. It becomes a way of finding God always, and ultimately it transforms our sight – our way of seeing.
It’s not that we don’t know what day the Lord will come or return, but it’s perhaps that we don’t know how to see God as He/She already is here in our lives and relationships. There are so many ways to cultivate this practice of “staying awake” to or noticing the presence of God. It’s like creating a game of connect-the-dots. It could start out with 5 minutes of silent deep breathing, attempting to let go of the busyness of our minds. Notice I said “attempting” and not “succeeding in” letting go of the things that prey upon our minds. If we can only begin to notice when our mind drifts during these short stints of silent deep breathing, we can surrender our “seeming failure” to do so, and this becomes our prayer, because we have just showed up in the presence of God. I discovered God here….and here…and there…the dots keep multiplying and connecting with each other.
Prayer mantras can help. I love nature walks. All of these things, once we commit to them can afford us to allow the way we perceive our lives, our relationships, and our God (all really the same in a way) to be transformed. We can see things differently even when we are not actually doing the nature walks or the breathing times. Indeed we begin to notice God in the very ordinariness of our everyday lives at work and play, joys and even irritations.
We are then “returning” the great Notice that God is always taking of us. We are acknowledging and moreso appreciating in a way that begins to show in our actions more and more the all-encompassing concern and attention God is paying us. God has given us notice, and all we have to do is learn how to return notice. Or at least try to. If we look at the “day the Lord will come” in this way, it ceases to be an outside and distant occurrence that we must seek out and make ready for as much as it is returning the embrace of a relationship of “notice,” established and sustained by a God, that fervently awaits our returning notice by allowing it to relate to everything we do and everyone we encounter.
Not express mail…only return notice of receipt!
Peace
Thomas
The day after writing this reflection, Mom went to her new home. I found it fitting that this reflection the day before was about “returning notice” to God. She continues to teach me so much about “staying awake!”
I love and miss you Mama!
